Enough is Enough

Random Stuff That Makes Me Happy

Way to go, Antwerp.

Standing Strong

Rants and Raves

Rave: My friend, Laura, who is always so nice and supportive.

Rant: People who can't be bothered to return a phone call (or 10).

Rave: The pediatric optician who finally found frames that Julia would concede to consider wearing.

Rant: Not having her on our vision plan. Ouch!

Rave: My new Uppercase Living website, and people who are as into the product as I am!

Rant: Not being able to choose what goes on my wall next!

Rave: Mommy group therapy.

Rave: Mommy wars.

Rave: It's finally fall! Hooray for changing leaves and Halloween decorations.

Rant: The 30 degree difference in temperature from the morning to the afternoon. How am I supposed to dress my kids?

Rave: The election is less than 3 weeks away...the campaigning is about to end.

Rant: I'm not overly thrilled with our choices and the one proposition I feel strongly about has a good chance of losing.

Rave: Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Pumpkin Cream Cheese muffins are back at Starbucks!

Rant: Still no drive-through Starbucks anywhere near here.

Rave: The Amazing Race. How cute was Phil's dad?

Rant: Desperate Housewives. I need No-Doz just to get through an episode.

Rave: Being back in Mommy & Me with Brady, a few nice moms and an awesome teacher.

Rant: Listening to "I go to school today?" a thousand times each day that we don't go to school.

Rave: Julia's soccer team is doing great, they made the playoffs, she scored a goal last week (!!!!) and Ethan finally seemed to get it together in his last game.

Rant: Too many of their games are scheduled simultaneously and I hate missing one. Plus his games are WAY TOO EARLY.

Rave: Sweet 3rd grade girls who hold hands and giggle and don't even know why.

Rant: Mean 3rd graders who shove, threaten and bully, and then break the rules knowing that the other kids are too scared to tell. It's too early for this stuff.

Election Day, Part 2 - 40 odd days and counting

Well, here we are, 7 months plus since my last election post and guess what. Still no President. Half a billion dollars spent, running mates picked conventions held, interviews given and rally after rally after rally held and televised. And still this endless process continues. We still have debates to look forward to and who knows how many months of vote counting before the partisan power grab is over and we can have dances and parties and all pat ourselves on the back on our exemplary, peaceful, political process.

Most people I know, my relatives excluded, are civilized enough to keep their judgements and opinions to themselves most of the time. Maybe your outfit isn't quite ready for Vogue or you're having a bad hair day. Maybe you're making stupid decisions that are messing up your life and your kids'. Maybe your spouse is an ass and everyone knows it but you. The folks in my circle are usually polite enough to keep their opinions about this kind of situation to themselves until asked. Moreover, they wouldn't presume to tell you what to do or how to think. Until an election comes around.

For the past months, I can't open my email without some propaganda from someone about their favored political candidate. Presumably, until election season, I was deemed intelligent enough to think for myself, to make decisions on mundane things like whether to vaccinate my children, or to send them to public school, or the best way to take care of my and my family's health. Now, all of a sudden, I need to be told by my friends who to vote for and why, whose family values and vice presidential qualifications are acceptable and whose aren't, and which Facebook group to join to tell the world my political views. I need to have the news analyzed by these sudden political experts.

I didn't ask.

It seems, as a matter of fact, that everyone is an expert. As I watch the Emmy Awards tonight, I'm annoyed, but not surprised, that so many of the presenters choose to make political statements. Once again, this is not what I tuned in for.

Last I checked, I was smart enough to know where to go for political information and analysis: any number of cable news shows, magazines, political blogs, the newspaper. That one I can figure out. What I can't figure out is why people who are otherwise lovely, charming and thoughtful would be so insulting as to force their unsolicited political views on me, and then judge me for either not agreeing or asking to be spared. Wasn't it considered in poor taste not too long ago to even discuss politics and religion?

Don't get me wrong. I don't mind a healthy political discussion, a respectful exchange of ideas, of point and counterpoint between equally matched intellects. What doesn't work for me, and never will, is being told by someone not to vote for Barrack Obama because his middle name is Hussein and "Jews can't vote for Hussein," or that John McCain and Sarah Palin are "evil" and a joke. Again, I didn't ask. I notice that most people don't ask about my views, other than to ascertain whether I'm voting their way. As soon as they hear that I'm most likely not, they make it their personal mission to tell me why I'm wrong and why I should.

Now, this is my blog and you came here, so you must want to know what I think. If you're here by mistake, leave now. Once and for all, these are my views:

• I hate our electoral process. It makes me sick. It's no longer about governing, or improving the lives of the citizens. It's about a power grab for one party at the expense of the other, and of the interests of the American public, who are the last people considered when policy and legislation are being crafted.
• I don't like either of the candidates for President. I'm not embarrassed to say so. One is too old and one isn't experienced enough. Giving good speeches doesn't make you a great president. As the "greatest democracy in the world," what we deserve is a real choice, with more than two options.
  
• I don't like Sarah Palin and I don't like Hilary Clinton. This doesn't make me anti-feminist.
• I live in a blue state. My vote doesn't count.
• I'm disgusted by the stronghold of the religious right over the Republican party. This country was founded on the tenet of separation of church and state, yet this party seeks to blur those lines further and further every day. Sarah Palin has called the war in Iraq a "task from God." Jihad, anyone? Yet her party is energized and excited by her nomination. That disconnect is frightening.
  
• Whoever gets elected, it won't make a fundamental difference in my and my family's daily lives. This is an unpopular view and certainly some things may change. We all know, though, that what's promised in campaigns isn't what will happen anyway. But our personal challenges and triumphs will continue regardless of who has taken over the White House.

Again, these are my views, and you don't have to agree. Unless asked, I will keep them to myself. If you disagree, I won't judge you and suggest you have inferior intelligence. And I certainly won't let it get in the way of our relationship because in my world, people will always be more important, more genuine and much, much more relevant than politics.

Election Day, Part 1

This will not be a pretty post. There will be complaining and snarkiness. There might be profanity. You've been warned.

Here we are on "Super Tuesday," halfway through the needlessly endless process that we use in this country to elect...Presidential Candidates. And this has been going on for at least a year. And the inauguration is just under a year away. So until then we're held hostage by political ads, sound-bites, interviews, more ads, talking heads on every cable channel, phone call after phone call (our reward for being diligent voters), letters, requests for money, polls, and some more ads. Unlike Super Bowl ads, the political ones are neither amusing nor humorous, and hardly informative. But they are incessant. And they're expensive. And so are the candidates' staffs, and their jets (have you noticed, gas has gone up), and their hotel rooms, and their staffs' hotel rooms, and their conventions, and their pollsters, and their mailers and their incessant ads. We're at the point where it costs hundreds of millions of dollars to get elected President in our country.

So while the candidates are telling their voters - and they all know who their own particular voters are - what they think the voters want to hear, they also have their hands out to those who can finance their campaigns. And when the campaigns are over and one person has won, do you think his or her debt will be to the voters or to the financiers? It doesn't matter which side you look at. The Republicans have their corporations and the Democrats have their unions. Both have deep pockets, plenty of lobbyists and a lot of clout.

I'm sorry that I'm so cynical, but I've been disappointed by every person I've ever given my vote for President to. I can't embrace another dynamic candidate and think he'll be the one to change things up. I can't imagine that one person can unite our shamefully divided and partisan Congress and cause them to bring about change or improvements. And while I do believe that our public servants enter politics with the sincere goal of serving their constituencies, I don't believe that they get to stay in office unless they embrace quite different goals.

At the same time, my heart hurts when I think about the money that we spend on Presidential campaigns and the lives it could help and the problems it could solve. Pick your cause: poverty, hunger, disease eradication, the environment? Would throwing $100 million at it help? Instead of giving constant speeches about funding universal health care, let's figure out a way to funnel the campaign money to ACTUALLY FUND IT. That would be a campaign I could get behind.

As disappointed as I am with the process and the candidates, I did vote. I voted for someone who seems moderate and somewhat sane. I don't know if he'll be elected. I don't think it'll make much difference if he does. I do want our country to be safe, and secure, and prosperous. I do want equal opportunity for all. I do want us to fulfill all of the endless potential we have. I'm just not sure if the folks who are running for the White House are the best choices to help us do that.

The Writers' Strike

I've just realized that all the media coverage of the current TV and movie writers' strike was incomplete without my commentary. How irresponsible of me.

Those of you who regularly listen to me rant may be surprised to know that I'm supporting the writers. As a rule I hate unions and find them only marginally necessary, if that, and only in very few specific cases. This happens to be one of those cases.

Some might find it hard to sympathize with well-paid writers. I happen to know, though, that their jobs, while rewarding, can also be discouraging, frustrating and downright infuriating. They must be creative and brilliant under the confines of crazy deadlines, often having to juggle conflicting demands from their show runner, studio, network and rabid fans. They work crazy long hours with few guarantees of consistent work. And their work makes the studios very, very rich.

Here's the take of someone more eloquent and better-informed than I. Plus, he has graphs!



I'd like to see the strike end and everyone go back to work. It's true that I hate unions, but I hate greed and inequity just as much.

Blog Action Day

In case you hadn't heard, today is Blog Action Day, a day for blogs all over the net to post about the environment in a way that pertains to their particular readers. So far, over 15,000 blogs with a readership of over 12 million are on board.

Whether you agree or not that are planet is in an environmental crisis, there's no question that we can all do small things in our lives that will add up to a big difference. For example, with curbside recycling in most communities, it takes little effort to separate your trash. Other things, however, do take some effort. And with all of us leading super-busy lives, it's much easier to pick convenience over the environment. I feel guilty about this every night as I pack my kids' school lunches with plastic bags, individually packaged snacks and juice boxes.

So, I'd like to make this post an interactive one in two ways. First, if you have a blog, I encourage you to register and create your own Blog Action Day post. Second, leave a comment about real-world things you do in your own life to reduce your and your family's impact on the environment. Maybe we can all pick up a few tips to improve our efforts in a small way. One of mine is to reuse my scrapbooking scraps in any way possible. What's good for the planet is also good for my wallet!

Our small efforts will add up to a big result. And then we'll hold hands and sing Kumbaya. And isn't that what this is all about?

Letters

I've sadly realized once again that the retail world is going seriously awry without the benefit of my guidance. Therefore, I'm graciously giving my wise input in the following letters:

Dear Target:
You know I love you and you know I can't walk out without spending massive amounts of money in your store. But listen up: you cannot open a new 2-story store in a ritzy mall with a Nordstrom and a Neiman-Marcus and then cut corners in the bathroom. The family bathroom is definitely a nice touch but do not for one minute think that you can get away for one minute without seat covers or paper towels in the women's restroom. Gross. Gross. Gross. Figure out a different place to save money cause this one will not do.

Dear Chuck E. Cheese:
You have managed to actually create a place where annoyed parents willingly go to get headaches and buy bad, overpriced pizza. But this time you've blown it. Target the teenagers with arcade style games if you must. But don't do it at the expense of your littlest customers who want slides, ball-pits and the occasional ride with Barney and Bob the Builder. The little ones are so disappointed to find that their favorite rides and activities are gone and have been replaced with video games and stupid machines that take your token and spit out tickets instantly...only to have the kids rushing back to mom and dad for another token. Maybe, Chuck, you're in cahoots with the gaming industry and are breeding the next generation of slot machine junkies. Maybe you forgot that certain 3 year olds have been known to ride Bob over and over and over, prompting Mommy to spend an entire twenty dollar bill as they say "another money." And maybe it's escaped your attention that most self-respecting teens will not be thrilled to hang out anywhere there's a giant goofy mouse walking around. Don't screw with the little ones and bring back Barney.

Dear Gap Corporation:
I was thrilled when your new concept, Forth and Towne opened at my local mall. Imagine, grown up clothes in a wide range of grown up sizes! Do my eyes deceive me? I was a little concerned by the size of the store (a huge investment in real estate, to be sure) and a little annoyed by the overly chatty saleswomen. But then one brought me a bottle of water, pointed me to some sale stuff (wow, great deals too!) and I forgot all about it. So you can imagine my disappointment this week when I read that you're giving up on the concept and closing one of my favorite stores. Huge bummer for me and the other ladies I've turned on to you. I understand your company is bleeding money and you have to do something drastic. So close Forth and Towne if you must, but for the love of god, increase the size ranges at the Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy, and give me a reason to continue spending with you.

Dear Cheesecake Factory:
You have got to get a clue about service. Just because your food is really good (also expensive) and your decor is lovely doesn't mean that customers will continue to put up with your snooty attitude and bad service. Here are some suggestions:

• When someone calls ahead to get a table, give it to them. They want to spend money at your restaurant and you'd much rather have them doing that than pissing them off by making them wait in your overcrowded lobby from hell.
• Train your dumb teenage hostesses to do their job. They are the first person a customer sees when they come in. Do you really want them looking that vacant? If your hostess doesn't know what to do with a large party, don't make the customer wait 10 minutes while she gets a manager, and then add that customer to the cue after everyone who's walked in for the last 10 minutes.
  
• Don't tell a customer that you'll seat them in a half hour and then make them wait 45 minutes. And once you let them know their table is ready, don't have them hang out in the lobby from hell for another 15 while the hungry kids run and scream and the sleepy baby cries. It was all under control until you called us for a table that still wasn't ready.
• When you've completely screwed up the seating process and have a table full of hungry, angry people, you might inform the server to provide some really great service. Like get the kids their drinks first. Or give them something to eat right away. Or comp them some free appetizers while they read the menu. JUST DO SOMETHING.
  

I usually consider myself as someone who doesn't get angry easily. I try to be patient in restaurants and not give the servers any reason to ahem, augment, my food. I say please and thank you and teach my children to do the same. I do not indiscriminately yell at people. In fact, I never had. But you drove me to it, and I'm not sorry. Do your job, and I'll do mine. Otherwise, the food just isn't worth the hassle.

Dear Craigslist:
I have been intrigued by you for a while but only discovered your true potential a couple of weeks ago when I listed a baby item for sale and sold it in 8 minutes. Amazing! Thinking it would always be like this, I listed more stuff...and it's sat there. Boo! I've been spoiled, admittedly, but it sucks when I actually have to wait for buyers. Today I got another bite so I'm thinking maybe our relationship will work out after all. Let's hope so because there's a lot of stuff I need to get rid of before I can finally move out of my house.

Dear Advil:
If I had a penny left after all the house spending, I would buy stock in whichever genius company makes you. Once again you have come to my rescue and allowed me to continue caring for my family, albeit slightly hunched over and tense, in the midst of a really bad and scary back attack. Please do not forsake me in these busy days of birthday partying and moving and general life and I will continue to sing your praises to all who will listen.

Happy New Year!

The New Year has been rung in and we have almost managed to get the confetti out of all the crevices it found its way into. We celebrated with the two families who have recently moved into our cul-de-sac and the goodwill, cheer and pomegranate martinis were flowing freely. No matter how many years pass, I will never forget New Year's Eve two years ago. It was a night of great celebration because Julia was finally moved from her PICU room in the hospital to the regular peds floor. We tried to make it as festive as possible, but the picture of her wearing her pink feather New Year crown and oxygen tubes in her nose will always haunt me. What a blessing to watch her running around this New Year: healthy, strong and NOISY, there is thankfully nothing wrong with her lungs now.

So far, 2007 feels a whole lot like 2006. Kids running around, neglected laundry, and a baby crying himself to sleep(hopefully). Still, it's hard not to have a good feeling about the new year. Hopefully this will be the year that our family will find its new home, preferably without a divorce being the result of house-finding stress. This is also the year that Ray officially starts his new title at work and resumes the godawful commute. May they both be painless and profitable. Since I found out years ago that I pretty much suck at keeping New Year's resolutions, I'm keeping it simple this year by striving to do the following:

• Be healthier (which includes cook more and sleep more)
  
• Scrap more
• Be a more fun mom and wife

That's it: easy peasy lemon squeezy! With that out of the way, and a little more blogging space to fill, I thought I'd do my part to make the world a better place and help some others who desperately need some resolutions:

Britney Spears: one word: Underwear.
Hillary Clinton: to please spare the American people the blood and gore of any Presidential campaign which includes her and just not run.
George W.: Find a clue, and fast!
Rosie O'Donnell: Shut up.
Barbara Walters: Fire Rosie.
Southern California Homeowners: Sell your homes. The time is now. Preferably to me. Preferably dirt cheap.
The Iranian People: Figure out a way to get rid of your laughingstock baboon of a President before America or Israel does it for you. Really, do we want George Bush taking this on too?
Tannaz: Enjoy the hell out of your new unemployed status and put your new found daily freedom to good use by coming over to hang out with my kids as often as possible. Getting a few articles or a book published would also be good.
Tom Cruise: see Rosie O'Donnell

Everyone Else: Be good to yourselves and each other. This world is a tough enough place without all the senseless crap that people do to each other. If given the chance to complain about something or actually do something about it, choose the latter. Smile more. Hug your kids, especially when you don't feel like it. Have a great year!

Our National Tragedy

Warning: the following post is political and critical of the President. If you are a steadfast supporter of his and are just going to get annoyed, you may want to skip it. If you're going to spam me, don't waste either of our time, and definitely skip it.

It's been a long 6 years.

I'm not one of those vocal Bush-haters. I don't think he's run our country into the ground. I don't think he's inherently evil. I'm actually really happy with his support of Israel and condemnation of Hezbollah. I don't think we'd be better off with President Gore or Kerry. But I stopped liking the guy a long time ago. And today, he actually did something I thought was absolutely impossible: he made me wistful for the Clinton days.

Today, 5 and a half years into his Presidency, George used one of his office's most powerful tools, the veto, for the first time. Not to increase our national security or bolster our economy. Not to keep felons in prison or improve education. He used it against expanding funding into promising stem cell research that could offer hope to so many people, not just in the U.S., but ultimately worldwide. He chose ideology over hope and over life. Who do you know that suffers from Parkinson's? Or a spinal cord injury? Or all the other diseases and disorders that stem cell therapy offers hope to? Today, our President told them that saving cells in a petrie dish is more important than relieving their suffering or giving them the chance to walk, run, or dance. the chance to pick up their children, perhaps, or to hold the hand of a loved one, or to feel the hand of a loved one comforting them.

Just about any Democrat and many Republicans would, if they were in the President's shoes, proudly sign a bill that advanced medical research and seeked to transform and save lives in ways that were previously thought to be impossible. Not our George though. Instead he's having us put our blinders on and embrace a narrow ideology that does nothing for those who are actually here but discount the value of their lives, their suffering, their potential. Rather than lead the world in research, America will hang back and let our citizens pay the price.

You got this one wrong George. Little kids don't belong in wheel chairs. Our parents and grandparents, not to mention our own generation, don't deserve to lose their lives to Alzheimer's, ALS, or Parkinsons. Try explaining politics to the kid who just wants to jump out of his wheel chair and run with his friends. Or to the parents who can do nothing but watch their child suffer or even die. There's nothing moral about this.

A Prayer for the Kidnapped Israeli Soldiers...

and for those who are risking their lives for their safe release. May they all return safely home to their loved ones soon.