The Good, The Bad, The Odd

I hate not blogging for a long time. Stuff piles up and then I never get around to telling (all 3 of) you about it. Here's a quick run-down, with hopefully more to come someday soon:

The Good

• We went wine tasting a couple of weekends ago and had SUCH a great time. I'll definitely post about this soon!
• Ethan's dinosaur party was a great success and may someday be its own blog post. There were, ahem, quite a few kids but they had fun and I loved all the activity. Boys are a whole different breed when it comes to group-think, aren't they? I'm not quite mentally prepared.
• I got carded! I didn't have my kids with me and the waiter was wearing pretty thick glasses, but who cares?
• I'm going to see Bon Jovi & Daughtry tomorrow night and will also get to meet my good friend Jacquie IRL for the first time. Can't wait!!!
  
• My mom is sleeping over so I can do the above. She rocks.
  
• I registered Ethan for kindergarten and now must pray nightly that he won't end up with the mean teacher who yells.
  
• My first Uppercase Living open house is next week. I'm really excited...and nervous. But also really excited.
• Brady seems to be getting cuter by the minute. Come visit him. Or call him. He'll totally talk to you on the phone.
  
• Juji got her first hit and scored her first run in softball. I didn't think this would happen for another couple of seasons. Her team has won its last two games!
  

The Bad

• Passover starts next week and I have not done one thing to prepare.
  
• Julia's attitude is getting worse by the day. Is it me or is she completely psycho, going from sweetheart to complete pain instantaneously.
• I have wasted my entire evening playing games online.
• The Bruins broke my heart for the 3rd straight year, coming home empty-handed from the Final Four.
• Ray's work sucks right now. Period.
• My kids can mess my house up way faster than I can clean it.
  
• My asshole neighbor's asshole dog got out today and came nose-to-nose with poor Brady, who was terrified. I heard myself scream primaly to the neighbor to get his dog away, which he did. He did apologize, at which point it occurred to me that that was the first time he'd talked to me the entire YEAR we'd been living here. He needs to make sure that dog never ever gets near one of my kids again.
• Our friends who were going to Bon Jovi with us had to cancel, so I'm taking my sister and her friend. This isn't all bad, as now I can act like a much bigger dork at the concert and sing and dance to my heart's content. Ray will pretend not to know us.

The Odd

• I really did have some odds, but now can't remember any of them. Must be time for bed. If only I hadn't wasted my whole night online, I'd head straight to sleep without the mandatory pit stop in the kitchen to clean and make Julia's lunch. Damn internet.
  

Spring Traditions

With blue skies (finally) and gorgeous weather, not to mention blossom-covered trees everywhere, spring has arrived at last. This point was brought home to me last Sunday, when my family participated a number of spring traditions all in one day.

Our day started out at a local Purim carnival. I love living in an area of the country where my Jewish kids have plenty of other Jewish kids around. When I lived in the Northwest, it was very isolating to not be part of a larger Jewish community. I either felt really lonely, or like an animal in the zoo as I was subjected to the fascination of several people who had never met a Jew before. So our trek to the carnival took all of 5 minutes and we played, bounced, jumped, rode a poor, sad pony and ran into lots of friends we knew.

From there we had lunch and headed to our former neighbors' home for an Easter bash. It never occurred to me just what a pretty holiday Easter can be. While the religious meaning of the holiday is completely lost on me, I love the pretty pastel colors, the flowers, the signs of spring everywhere and little kids dressed in pretty clothes running around in the sunshine. Besides, who doesn't like bunnies, especially the variety who bring chocolate. Our friends went all out: each child got his or her own half-dozen eggs to dye before heading out to hunt for 350 eggs! I think we adults had as much fun hiding them as the kids did searching for them. Brady LOVED sidewalk chalk and Julia and Ethan rode their sugar high well into the evening.

Just as the party started to wrap up, we headed home to get read for Julia's 3rd softball game of the season. Their coach says they are steadily improving. Their score has gone from 4-0, to 12-2, to 13-0. I don't see how allowing the opposing team to score more runs in each successive game is an improvement, but I'm not a math major. That's right friends, Julia plays for the Bad News Bears. The games are not only boring, but just bad. We have games each Saturday and Sunday, and Ray and I trade off going so as to not subject ourselves and the other spectators to Brady's incessant screams throughout the game. While it's quite an occasion when our pitcher manages to throw a strike (rather than pitching the ball behind the batter) there are small signs of progress. Besides, sitting outside watching a ball game definitely feels like spring. And the score isn't all that important, right? I know this because after every game Julia has asked us hopefully, "Did we win?"

Another spring occasion is upon us today with the celebration of Noruz (nowrooz), the Persian New Year. I wrote last year about how much I love celebrating a new year in the spring instead of in the middle of dark and gloomy winter. Being spoiled, lazy and overwhelmed with the rest of the chaos in my life, I've left the work to others this year. My sister made the traditional sabzi polo because she enjoys spending an entire day to make one pot of rice. More power to her. We will be celebrating at my parents' tomorrow night, and the eggs my kids dyed at the Easter party will be adorning Goobie's haft seen.

It occurs to me that I've gotten away with doing very little work for any of these holidays this year. No matter, I don't feel guilty. Someday I'll be the grandma or the hostess or not nuts and go all out. For now I'm happy to enjoy the fruits of others' labor, happily buy my carnival tickets and transport my family from one location to the next. However you celebrate, I hope your spring is lovely and full of sweets.


Many thanks to macieklew for his stunning photo. Check out his other work; you will not be disappointed.

One Gift, Many Occasions

Remember way back when I totally blew off blogging in December, then promised I'd do some holiday posts in January? Lame, I know, but here's one of those posts. If it makes you feel any better, I've been feeling guilty about it since, like, November. So now I have less guilt and you have something yummy to read about. Win, win.

Much to my husband's annoyance, I insist on making a home made food gift for a select few friends and neighbors each holiday season. He, being of the "Why Bother?" school of thought thinks this just causes unnecessary stress and effort. I, being of the "If Anything is Worth Doing It's Worth Doing To Excess" school of thought, ignore him. But this year, with sanity, time and money all being at a premium, I had to rethink the process. God forbid I would skip the gifts altogether. This was not an option. However, I needed something that was easy to make and relatively inexpensive, since I had a lot of people I planned to give to.

It's no secret that I have an enigmatic relationship with my crockpot. Although I hear raves about it, I've yet to produce anything in mine that doesn't come out tasting and looking like, well, slop. Not ready to give up yet, I was browsing yet another slow cooker cookbookin hopes of finding something that didn't involve a can of cream-of-sodium soup. Towards the back of the book, I happened upon a recipe for apple butter. Hmmmm...interesting. My husband and I had always loved it when we lived in Washington and hadn't had any for a long time. It sounded good, easy, and inexpensive. After consulting the brain trust (who, by the way, devotes many posts to gifts-in-a-jar) and finding a cute little apple spreader from Crate & Barrel to go with the goods, I decided to give it a try.

The basic recipe is to chop granny smith apples and stick them in a crock pot with sugar. Let the apples sit all day until they release a lot of their juice and collapse slightly, then add some spices and cook overnight. The next day, take off the lid and cook some more to thicken. Puree with an immersion blender (OMG I LOVE MINE) and that's it.

I made my first batch for Thanksgiving, planning to take a jar to my cousin's as a hostess gift. The good thing about this recipe is that it lasts up to two months in the refrigerator, making it a perfect for those who like to do things ahead of time. So I knew I could test run a jar at Thanksgiving and be able to use the leftovers at Hannukah. Of course, the presentation was also important. Julia and I stamped some plain brown gift bags with leaf stamps from Close To My Heart, then used the same stamps on grocery bags to make a topper for the jar. I used the stamps again to make a gift tag. I attached the spreader with some ribbon to match and voila! By this time I was so overwhelmed with the cuteness of the stamped stuff and the whole home made-ness of the whole thing that it wouldn't have mattered if the stuff tasted awful.

Fortunately, it didn't. I never heard from my cousin the unknowing guinea pig, but the rest of us who tasted the apple butter all loved it. I immediately began massive apple butter production and spent a lot of time chopping, stirring, and pureeing. The rest of the time I spent talking about apple butter. Conversation is pretty lively around these parts.

I realized that one batch only gave me a little more than two jars of apple butter. So I stuffed my crock pot with even more apples the next time to make the minimal effort worth it. It totally worked. I also unwittingly messed up the second batch by forgetting to add the spices before I turned the crock pot on and let the stuff cook overnight. So I added them the next morning, along with some water because the stuff looked a little thick and guess what? It was even better!! By not letting the spices cook and get concentrated as long, their flavors remained a little more bright and distinguishable while allowing the fresh flavor of the apples to burst through.

As I moved into full production mode, I loved the smell of it simmering and I loved having a refrigerator shelf filled with jars of the dark, rich, apply goodness waiting to be gifted to friends and family. Starting with Hannukah (it was early this year, remember?) I must have given 10-11 jars out. It made a lovely thank you gift for a friend who helped us play Santa and when we accepted a New Year's Eve invitation at 4 p.m. on New Year's Eve, it was a no-brainer grab and go hostess gift. The only thing that had to be changed was the ribbon and the stamp I used to decorate the jar, bag and tag.

With all this apple butter flowing, you may be wondering just what it's good for. The obvious choice is on toast or bagels with butter or cream cheese (or all by itself), although we think it tastes awesome with peanut butter. Julia now takes peanut butter and apple butter sandwiches to school for lunch. At Hannukah it was a more sophisticated topping for latkes and it was delicious. I also like it on simple grilled or roasted chicken. Lately, I've been putting it on the muffins Ethan and I have been baking together.

Things I love about this recipe:

• Not too sweet but plenty of flavor
• Can definitely stand in for fatty spreads and actually started out as fruit
• Tastes great!
• Easy to make and to make ahead
• Makes a generous amount
• Stores for a while in the fridge or freezer
• A monkey could make it
• Everyone seems to love it

I'm sure I'll be making more for my own family as we're down to our last jar. But the best compliment I got was from a friend whose son has severe food allergies. Not only was he able to enjoy the apple butter on his rice cake with no problems, but her daughter apparently said it was the "best sauce" she's ever had.

If you'd like to make the original recipe, consult the cookbook. Here's my adaptation:

5+ lbs. of Granny Smith apples, washed, cored and cut into large pieces
(I overstuffed my crock pot and couldn't get the lid on, but as the released their juices and collapsed it was no problem)
2 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. allspice
pinch of salt
big splash of vanilla extract (I use the good stuff from Trader Joe's and splash quite enthusiastically)

Layer the apples and sugar in your crock pot. Place lid on (it may not close all the way, this is OK) and let sit all day without turning on the crock pot. By the end of the day you will have a ton of apple juice in your crock pot and the apples will have collapsed to the point that the lid will close. Turn crock pot on LOW and cook overnight. In the morning, toss the apples with the spices and vanilla. At this point I like to add a cup or so of water. Eyeball it and add as much or as little as you like. Continue to cook for several hours until you reach your preferred thickness, removing the lid if it's too thin. Cool in crock and use immersion blender (or regular blender or food processor) to puree. Store in refrigerator for 2 months or freeze for up to 3.

I'd love to hear from you if you try this recipe. Let me know how you like it and how you use your yummy apple butter.

Well, Hello

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. I don't know what I've done the last couple of weeks but let me assure you, it's been vitally important. Right. For the interest of my blog readers, one of whom I happened to meet the other day (Everyone say "Hi Dave!"), I will try to jump-start my feeble, medicated mind and update you on my oh-so-exciting life:

• Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur happened. Rosh Hashanah was fun, except for the stress and the staying up late and the hyper kids and the cranky relatives and the heat. But there were beans (black-eyed peas if you're being persnickety) and tongue (how has Tannaz not blogged about this?) and the little cousins were so cute together. Yom Kippur was also nice. Julia attended her first Kol Nidre, in the rain no less. Both of these facts completely traumatized her but she conceded later that it wasn't as bad as she expected. Last year, when I was lucid, I wrote a Yom Kippur post that sums it up well. Go back and read if you care. I've learned that when you attend services once or twice a year, that you tend to get a little more out of them. It's either that or the rabbis at Valley Beth Shalom are truly phenomenal. Or, as my husband says, they have the direct line to God. Any of those are possible.
• Things are going well at school. Ethan is so "inciting" when he gets to go and Julia loves it. I could not be happier. Well, I could if preschool weren't so expensive, but then it wouldn't be so good. At least, that's what I tell myself.
• My mind seems to be percolating along in its new chemically enhanced state. Some minor adjustments may be necessary, but there has been a huge improvement. I might even graduate from therapy soon, which only means that either my therapist is not very perceptive or that I put on a pretty good well-adjusted act.
• Progress is afoot on the home front. We have floors!!! And new counters!!!! And the island is no longer in the back yard, though the toilet is. Baby steps, people. Today I went to the bowels of the San Fernando Valley yet again, this time to shop for tile. Tomorrow I get to do the same thing locally. I can't wait to be done! Plus, how much do I love saying "afoot?"
  
• We are in the middle of annoying Southern California fall weather, which I hate. We have cold mornings and hot afternoons, which means that at some point during each day, my kids will look like the person who dressed them is a complete moron. While this may be true, I don't appreciate the daily opportunity to advertise it. Pretty soon I'm going to have to knuckle down and drag Ethan to the mall to buy some sneakers. I will pay $20 to whomever would like to accomplish this for me. I'm tempted to start shopping online. Hmmm....
  
• My sweet friend Lissa is closing down The Untamed Scrapper. My heart breaks over this because I know how much of her time, energy, money and soul she has put into it, but I also know that it's the best thing for her family and that is what's important. I know she'll be up to something else in no time and I can't wait to see what it is.
  
• My baby sister turned 30 and we had a fun celebration with all her friends. This is turning into an annual event! Her friends are lovely and now I can make fun of her for being old like me. Totally a win-win.
  

Rock On

You know what's awesome when you feel like something the cat threw up? Being told that you rock. And that is exactly what has happened to me.

It turns out that I am a Rockin' Girl Blogger! I never would have thought! My buddy Meghan, who is quite rockin' in her own right, has tagged me. I'd like to thank all the little people, particularly the three who provide me with so much blog fodder. As stated in the rules, I must now tag 5 others. Of course, I can't narrow it down to just 5 so I'm throwing in a bonus at no extra charge:

1. Of course, my curly little Tannazie of All Kinds of Yum. Even if you don't appreciate her meandering posts about the most arcane food news and information, you'll love her photos, including the occasional very cute child model or two, and her blog is sure to leave you hungry and itching to visit her cute neighborhood in L.A. Stay tuned for her big blog remodel. It is gonna look great. Now we just have to bring her over to the dark side and get her scrapping.
   
2. The lovely Rambling Tara herself of Tara's Ramblings. This girl is a military wife, has 5 adorable kids whom she homeschools!, and still manages to crank out gorgeous detailed scrapbook pages. Amazing!
   
3. Tara Whitney, who I'm sure doesn't read my piddly blog but is still rockin' nevertheless. She is a mom of 4, a photographer whose family pictures have been made to make even bitchy me teary, and a really awesome scrapbooker whose emotions for her kids come through in all of her pages and photography.
   
4. My darling Just Nicole of Nik's Notations. Truth be told, Just Nicole hasn't posted in a while but she just turned 30, started a new job and is traveling this weekend so we'll cut her some slack. Her blog treats us to a slice of her life in Australia and when we're lucky we get pictures of beautiful scenery, her lovely lovely scrapbooking and awesome Indi, her precocious and foul-mouthed daughter. Hmm...wonder where she gets that from.
   
5. Speaking of daughters, mine is certainly rockin' at All About Me. Certainly, she would post more often if she wasn't so busy feeding her Webkinz or devoid of computer privileges for the infraction of the day.
   
6. Finally, sweet Lissa of Life's Reflections. She has such a lovely way with words that even when her posts don't include cute pictures of Dalton or her gorgeous scrapbook pages, her blog is a treat to read.
   

There are several other blogs I read daily who are definitely written by rockin' girls (Kim, Jax, Beth, Teri-Lynn, and others). However, I believe those have already been granted official rockin' status. Hope you enjoy the ones I mentioned here. Tell them I sent you and thanks again Meghan!

The Upside

Thanks to those of you who have expressed concern since my last post. I'm happy to report that things are definitely feeling better, with some ups and downs along the way, but still better. I'm hoping that as Brady's breastfeeding decreases and my hormone levels increase, the worst is behind me. In the mean time, I've discovered that even this has had a silver lining. In fact, several:

• I've discovered at last the immense power of sleep. Without it, lunacy is just a few nap-less days away. With it, the whole world feels different. I feel so much better skipping the gloom and doom and Paris Hilton updates of the evening news and getting to sleep that much earlier. It's a win-win all the way.
  
• Effortless weight loss...the holy grail! The only other time I lost weight this quickly and easily was all three times I was pregnant (proof that God has a sense of humor), and God knows we don't need that right now. I'm almost starting to wonder if a couple weeks of hell a month are worth the ensuing weight loss. I'm thinking probably not, and it's not something I can control anyway. Still, it's definitely worth hoping the trend continues or at least use it to jump-start some healthy changes.
  
• My sister got me this DVD: Yoga For Stress Relief as well as these yummy cookies for Mother's Day. The cookies are long gone but the DVD is definitely the gift that keeps on giving and giving. I so look forward to my 15 or 20 minutes of Yoga each night before bed. Mostly I've done the breathing and relaxation exercises but I've tried one practice for easing neck and shoulder tension and it was great. There are also choices for relieving headaches, stomach problems and "quieting the mind" which is terrific for those times when my mind will not shut up. So far I have not encountered any moves where you have to "twist your foot and stick it in your butt," as my mom delicately put it. Mostly it's really relaxing breathing and stretching and I can't recommend it highly enough. I'd never done any Yoga before, but if it is all this wonderful, I'm a convert. Check out this DVD for yourself and all the stressed out people you know. I plan to buy several as gifts.
• The gift of communing with friends and sharing my burden. The more girlffriends I talk to, the more I realize how common my little problems are. Hormones are tons of fun, it turns out, and I am not actually going crazy. I've gained the perspective that this is not going to be my permanent state of being and it will pass, with or without further medical intervention. What a relief!
  

Happy New Year. No, Really!

Today is the beginning of the celebration of Persian New Year, or Norooz, which translates to "new day." Of all the new year celebrations, I think this is the smartest of all, falling as it does at the beginning of spring, when the world is waking up again, blossoms abound and the air is filled with the sound of chirping birds. Seriously, who feels like celebrating when it's -9 degrees outside?

I'd love to tell you all about this holiday, but I'm on my way to go celebrate it at my parents'. Instead, I'll let you read my sister's version of it here. If you read her blog, you'll find links to her and our mom's haftseens, hers funky, mom's traditional. Me, barely being in survival mode this year, have opted to skip the extra work and enjoy the fruits of their labor instead.

Happy New Year to you all. May it be full of love and light.

What I Learned At Tannaz's Birthday Party

In a show of amazing bravery, which could also be viewed as foolishness, my sister invited not just my brood and I, but our parents! to her birthday barbecue with all her friends last night. Talk about your worlds colliding! As I am not in the habit of hanging out with twentysomethings and my parents and/or drinking all at the same time (too bad) I ended up learning a few things.

* It is possible to have a successful gathering of 30 or so people without being a stress case, planning everything to death, and working yourself into a complete lather for months beforehand. However, it is not kind to invite your parents to a party and make them man the grill the whole time. Of course, some people's parents have big issues with relinquishing control, but that's a whole 'nother post.

* My 6 year old daughter is a complete social butterfly, not to mention, a flirt...but primarily with grown-ups. At one point she was in a group talking and laughing with 4 or 5 of the guests. It's the kids she sometimes has trouble connecting with.

* Blue cheese dip made with lowfat cream cheese and candied pecans rather than full-fat and plain walnuts is quite delicious. Also, the more cognac the merrier. In the dip, I mean.

* Drinking beer, wine, and Tannaz's strange cucumber-vodka concoction all in one sitting does not, in fact, make you sick! Woo hoo.

* It doesn't matter if they're 3 or 30, boys think boogers, farting, and burping, along with other general gross stuff, are funny.

* My dad is fun! Everyone who knows my dad knows that, he's a lot of really great things, but he's also kind of a grouch. He has no problem falling asleep at social events if the conversation isn't stimulating. Phone conversations with him are quite short, and often include grunting in lieu of speaking. He has a lot of fun with his own group of friends, sure, but he's always been really quiet, if not purposely absent, with ours. But last night was a different story. It turns out that Tannaz's friends like tequila as much as he does. He was positively hilarious. Way to go Saeed!

* People should do what they're good at. Say you're a really good, even a great, smart, cook. And you've mastered many difficult techniques and on any day have a freezer stocked with exotic dishes and finely chopped ingredients to make more exotic dishes. This does not mean that you know how to barbecue. If this describes you, and someone else tells you to stop flipping the damn mean so it will cook, take my advice and don't serve raw meat to someone else's poor unsuspecting guests.

* Little boys are much easier to keep track of when the exits are blocked.

* When my mom is trying to cook the food and chat with the guests at my sister's party, she has no time to take care of my kids. What the hell? Who's going to take care of them then?

* Tannaz and her friends are cool, fun, accomplished people. The group represented a slice of young LA life and the vibe was so friendly and welcoming. I'm so glad they're all in her life. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of this fun group of friends, and I'm so glad to have been asked to join them for the evening.

Happy Day!

Today is the day my baby sister, Tannaz, celebrates her 29th birthday for the first time. In honor of this momentous day, Jews all around the world will feast on apples and honey, and if they happen to be Persian, also on cow tongue and black eyed peas (I'm sensing a huge culture clash...what if you're Persian and from the South? Do you double up?). Oh wait, maybe that's for something else. At our Rosh Hashanah celebration, we will have the aforementioned, as well as birthday cake. Woo hoo!

Happy Birthday Tannazie and happy New Year to all who are celebrating it tonight. May it be one of peace and prosperity.

Meow!

Go see this movie. Watch the movie, sleep, eat popcorn, make out, whatever, I don't care. But pay attention to the credits. Under "Pipeline" (who even knows what the heck that is?), it has one single solitary name (Tannaz Sassooni? gesundheit!) , and then a whole bunch of other names. Go to my sister's blog and tell her how cool she is and how proud her family is of her.