Blog Vomit

Wow, I just realized that I didn't blog during the entire month of February. I know it's a short month, but still. Bad me. Between birthday, Valentine's, family visits, Uppercase Living, and the normal day to day stuff that comes with a busy household (not to mention the OctoMom), it seems my blog got neglected. Not that anyone noticed (other than my mom).

So here's a quick rundown to catch you up. I'll spare you the promises of more frequent blogging; we both know that's a crapshoot. If it makes you feel better, know that I miss this and if I thought anyone was reading it, I'd feel awfully guilty.

• My baby turned 3. I can't believe it, but the potty training battles assure me that it's true. We had a Spongebob Squarepants party complete with kelp shakes and Krabby Patties. Photos to come. Someday.
• I'm now in the planning stages of a Mario Kart party. It seems that my days of sparkly princess parties are behind me. Boo!
• Speaking of birthdays, Ray turned 40. He seems to have survived it! Sadly, there was no big trip or party (Thanks, Economy) but we had a nice celebration and he's gotten over the trauma.
• Softball season is underway. Softball practice is at the exact same time as dance. This sucks. Softball doesn't. It's fun to be back in the bleachers, watching the girls who have improved so much since last year, and the younger ones just starting out. I love that Julia loves this stuff so much. The reality is that the practices and games are quite a pain to manage, but it's totally worth it.
• I backed my minivan into a parked truck yesterday and smashed a taillight. SO ANNOYED.
• The bad news: my old piece of crap cell phone finally died. The good news: I got a new BlackBerry Storm. The bad news: I haven't figured out all its idiosyncrasies yet. Like why I only get some of my email. I'm fearful that this will warrant a call to the call center in Bangladesh or the Philippines.
• I expect Ray to have a new job by the beginning of next week. Of course, this is wonderful news and it'll be nice to have an income again. But it's been SO nice having him around these last few months. The kids and I have loved it. The new job will be close to home (except for when he's traveling) and I expect it to be good for our family in the long run. It'll be a while before we dig out from under the financial impact of his being out of work but we'll be fine eventually. I'm proud of us for not getting on each other's nerves (much) the entire time he was home and am already trying to figure out how to minimize his office time and maximize our family time.
• UL continues to be fun and rewarding. I am excited to have a new team member who also happens to be a friend. Great products and great promotions have made this a good time to be in this business.

There you have it. I would love to post some pictures of the Spongebob Party here soon. If nothing else, it'll maybe discourage some poor misdirected mom from endeavoring to punch enough holes out of yellow cardstock to make it look like a sponge. And you wonder why I haven't been blogging?

Why I Have So Much Gray Hair

Ethan got out of bed tonight to ask me an important question:

"Mom, what is a phallus?"

"What?"

"A phallus."

"What?"

"Like, foul?"

"Ethan, where did you hear that word?"

"On Spongebob."

"What sentence was it in?"

"Do you mean where did I get that word?"

"YES!"

"Well, Spongebob said 'That is the second phallus thing I've ever eaten.'"

From Turkeys to Santa

It's been a while, loyal readers. Life gets busy, you know? So, what's been going on since I blogged you last? Julia got glasses: big trauma that has turned into a good thing. I'm proud of her, and proud of how we handled it. Ethan is Ethan. He's all about play dates, Lego, and staying up 2 hours after he's in bed and playing the dark. Bunch just gets better and better. He's figured out how to give kisses. But he's sneaky and gutsy and thinks he's one of the big kids.

It seems like Halloween was just yesterday, and now here we are, less than 3 weeks from Christmas. Thanksgiving was great. Once again, my cousin Sissy hosted and I had so much fun watching the kids play with their cousins (and cousins-in-law). There was all kinds of food, to which I happily contributed. Only problem with not hosting Thanksgiving is that you don't really get to control leftovers (plus there were NO leftover sweet potatoes and Julia has been waiting for them since last Christmas), so we had Thanksgiving again last night, with Ray's mom, who is here visiting. I made my first ever real turkey breast and it came out awesome. I almost think a monkey could make it but I don't want to disparage my own turkey-roasting skills. Plus: holy crap. Costco mashed potatoes. They must be from the gods.

Oh yeah, the other thing that happened last month was that my poor husband became one of the half-million plus Americans who lost their job. The week before Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays to us. After the requisite anger, cussing, and a few days of mopiness, we're back in the holiday spirit. Maybe it's all the meds I'm downing daily for this godawful cold-turned-sinus-mess-plus-incessant-back-agony-from-all-the-nights-spent-coughing-on-the-couch (not to mention the mind altering drugs humming in the background) combined with the persistent sleep deprivation, but I'm not freaking out. I wasn't thrilled with Ray's previous work situation. Besides, we'd known for a while that this layoff might happen. He was working for a land developer. Duh. So, I'm confident that something much better is in the works. In the mean time, it's great to have Ray home, especially while I've been sick. The kids are in heaven; I'm already worried about how sad they'll be when he goes back to work.

Tonight we went Chrismukah shopping while the kids stayed with Grandma Dooley. We had a great time! It's not about how much we spent. Sure, I love buying expensive gifts for friends and family. I am a shopper at heart, after all. But it's also fun to get creative, find bargains and make our budget work. It reminds me of Christmas shopping in college. But I also know that we are so lucky, so blessed. It's not about the job, the income, or any of that. I love this time of year and an uncertain financial situation isn't going to change that. So our halls are decked, we've got visions of latkes in our heads and it's time to be jolly. We're going to enjoy this bonus family time and look forward to the next good thing. It's all good.

Belated Boo!

Halloween has come and gone and while I wasn't all that much in the spirit at first, I managed to get into it by the end of trick or treating. Here are some photos for your enjoyment:

Julia, in her very original Purple Pelicans uniform, er, costume.

Halloween at Kindergarten never gets old.

Never has one Thomas costume been such an enormous value. 3rd Halloween in combat and still going strong.
Dr. Jones decided that his hat was too large and could only be fixed by wearing it in the other direction.

Hope everyone had a happy one!

Rants and Raves

Rave: My friend, Laura, who is always so nice and supportive.

Rant: People who can't be bothered to return a phone call (or 10).

Rave: The pediatric optician who finally found frames that Julia would concede to consider wearing.

Rant: Not having her on our vision plan. Ouch!

Rave: My new Uppercase Living website, and people who are as into the product as I am!

Rant: Not being able to choose what goes on my wall next!

Rave: Mommy group therapy.

Rave: Mommy wars.

Rave: It's finally fall! Hooray for changing leaves and Halloween decorations.

Rant: The 30 degree difference in temperature from the morning to the afternoon. How am I supposed to dress my kids?

Rave: The election is less than 3 weeks away...the campaigning is about to end.

Rant: I'm not overly thrilled with our choices and the one proposition I feel strongly about has a good chance of losing.

Rave: Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Pumpkin Cream Cheese muffins are back at Starbucks!

Rant: Still no drive-through Starbucks anywhere near here.

Rave: The Amazing Race. How cute was Phil's dad?

Rant: Desperate Housewives. I need No-Doz just to get through an episode.

Rave: Being back in Mommy & Me with Brady, a few nice moms and an awesome teacher.

Rant: Listening to "I go to school today?" a thousand times each day that we don't go to school.

Rave: Julia's soccer team is doing great, they made the playoffs, she scored a goal last week (!!!!) and Ethan finally seemed to get it together in his last game.

Rant: Too many of their games are scheduled simultaneously and I hate missing one. Plus his games are WAY TOO EARLY.

Rave: Sweet 3rd grade girls who hold hands and giggle and don't even know why.

Rant: Mean 3rd graders who shove, threaten and bully, and then break the rules knowing that the other kids are too scared to tell. It's too early for this stuff.

Ethan Does Yom Kippur

This awful cell-phone picture with bad lighting hardly does justice to Ethan's look for Yom Kippur services. Decked out in his new soccer ball kippah, he didn't think his outfit would be complete without his yellow striped tie. The two missing bottom teeth were the final Ethan touch. He spent most of the service decorating his tie with the number stickers from seats and making friends with the amused and annoyed adults seated around us. Brady spent his time up my skirt and asking "Is it done?" after every prayer. No matter, we were all together at the service and it was a nice way to end the holiday. The Gelson's cinnamon pull apart bread didn't hurt either.

Fun Fall

I figured it was time for a good, mindless post about what we've been up to lately, not that it's particularly exciting.

• School is going great. Both kids have great teachers and love going. E still has a hard time getting up in the morning but he loves being a kindergartener. I absolutely love working in their classes. Kindergarten is way more fun than 3rd grade, however. I continue to be impressed with my kids' school and the teachers there. Educating children is a hard business to be in and I admire those who do it well despite countless challenges.
  
• Julia is turning back into a human being. I'm not talking perfection, but she has become noticeably more sweet, polite and responsible. The backtalk and arguing have decreased dramatically and she's much more pleasant to be with. I will remember this when she turns into a teenage troll.
  
• I think I've gotten my election ranting out of my system. There's nothing left to do but sit back and wait for Election Day. Is it too late to put Tina Fey on the ticket?
• Bunch and I are having a great time in Mommy & Me. Our teacher, who is a friend and was also Ethan's teacher, rocks. I love the time I get to spend in class with him, especially since it brings back so many memories of being there with Ethan three years ago. Brady was with us then too, but he was just a belly baby, raising hell from the inside.
  
• I'm busier than I would like with school activities, but I enjoy being involved with all the happenings at school. I like selling ads for our newsletter and raising money in that way. I like the school administration and staff knowing that I am around and involved in my children's school. I like having my younger kids practically grow up at our school. Brady is quite a hit with the office ladies who hug him and kiss him and give him chocolate. It's like having 3 extra grandmas.
• We are a soccer family and we love it. Between the two kids, we have 3 practices and two games each week. Both teams are coming along nicely, but they can both be so frustrating to watch. It is a big commitment for our whole family, and can be a big pain at times, especially when Bunch isn't cooperating. But this is so good for our kids. They are learning about trying hard and teamwork and listening and working for a common goal. And they're running their tails off and loving it. Ray is coaching Julia's team and refereeing for Ethan. We're both surprised by how much he's enjoying it. And I got to make puple, white, and black ribbon ponytail holders for the team. Soccer is a good thing.
  
• I'm having a great time with Uppercase Living. I've gotten a lot of exposure lately and am waiting for some of my prospects to start panning out. I have high, high hopes for this business, especially in the coming months.
  

Still with me? That's pretty much all that is going on here. Sounds mundane, but I actually like that now and then. I like my routines and I like the everyday things that make our lives feel cozy and safe. Maybe it's the fall weather that is (finally) starting to come around. But I'm feeling like I just want to hole up in my house with my family, light a cinnamon candle and make soup. Although I'm not a fan of the cold weather (such as it is in these parts) I'll begrudgingly trade in my flip flops for shoes-that-must-be-worn-with-socks if it means I get to make soup.

Thank you arbreed for the gorgeous photo which is proof that we really do get fall in southern California.

A Happy Mother's Day

It seems we've been celebrating Mother's Day for several days already. It started Thursday morning when Ray & Julia came into my room with big smiles, holding the local newspaper. Imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Our local paper does this every year. Julia came up with the thoughts and Ray helped her get it to under 100 words and it totally made my day. Especially the part about "the brothers."

Friday I got to celebrate at Ethan's school where we were serenaded by a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds who couldn't stop grinning long enough to sing. Beyond cute.

We took a break yesterday to attend Julia's last softball game. They placed 3rd in their tournament which thankfully earned them big gaudy trophies that completely erased any disappointment they may have had about losing their game. They celebrated the end of the season at a swim party at one team member's AMAZING home. The girls had such a great time and it was nice to see Julia be one of the crowd. It's a struggle to let her be herself while trying to get her to be a little more outgoing. I'd like to think this experience has helped.

This morning I got my mother's day presents that were so amazing and sweet that my teeth hurt...or is that the Starbucks donut I had for breakfast? Never mind. Julia's teacher helped the class make a compilation of artwork and poetry throughout the year that is truly remarkable. The best part is the card: Top 10 Reasons Why I Love You. It's an entire scrapbook in itself. Ray hooked me up with some salon services that my nasty hair desperately needs. But my favorite present is the Webkinz panda that Julia and Ethan INSISTED I get. I had the most fun half hour this morning adopting it, decorating its room and taking it to Dr. Quack for a checkup, all with their guidance and advice.

This Mother's Day is a lot nicer for me than last year, thanks to me being more aware of what's been going on with me emotionally and having the tools to get through it. I'm looking forward to spending the day with my mom, who has truly saved me and my family throughout this year. To all the moms out there, a happy, happy, relaxing day to you. Our work is endless and the rewards infinite and no other job is done with more love and dedication.

The Good, The Bad, The Odd

I hate not blogging for a long time. Stuff piles up and then I never get around to telling (all 3 of) you about it. Here's a quick run-down, with hopefully more to come someday soon:

The Good

• We went wine tasting a couple of weekends ago and had SUCH a great time. I'll definitely post about this soon!
• Ethan's dinosaur party was a great success and may someday be its own blog post. There were, ahem, quite a few kids but they had fun and I loved all the activity. Boys are a whole different breed when it comes to group-think, aren't they? I'm not quite mentally prepared.
• I got carded! I didn't have my kids with me and the waiter was wearing pretty thick glasses, but who cares?
• I'm going to see Bon Jovi & Daughtry tomorrow night and will also get to meet my good friend Jacquie IRL for the first time. Can't wait!!!
  
• My mom is sleeping over so I can do the above. She rocks.
  
• I registered Ethan for kindergarten and now must pray nightly that he won't end up with the mean teacher who yells.
  
• My first Uppercase Living open house is next week. I'm really excited...and nervous. But also really excited.
• Brady seems to be getting cuter by the minute. Come visit him. Or call him. He'll totally talk to you on the phone.
  
• Juji got her first hit and scored her first run in softball. I didn't think this would happen for another couple of seasons. Her team has won its last two games!
  

The Bad

• Passover starts next week and I have not done one thing to prepare.
  
• Julia's attitude is getting worse by the day. Is it me or is she completely psycho, going from sweetheart to complete pain instantaneously.
• I have wasted my entire evening playing games online.
• The Bruins broke my heart for the 3rd straight year, coming home empty-handed from the Final Four.
• Ray's work sucks right now. Period.
• My kids can mess my house up way faster than I can clean it.
  
• My asshole neighbor's asshole dog got out today and came nose-to-nose with poor Brady, who was terrified. I heard myself scream primaly to the neighbor to get his dog away, which he did. He did apologize, at which point it occurred to me that that was the first time he'd talked to me the entire YEAR we'd been living here. He needs to make sure that dog never ever gets near one of my kids again.
• Our friends who were going to Bon Jovi with us had to cancel, so I'm taking my sister and her friend. This isn't all bad, as now I can act like a much bigger dork at the concert and sing and dance to my heart's content. Ray will pretend not to know us.

The Odd

• I really did have some odds, but now can't remember any of them. Must be time for bed. If only I hadn't wasted my whole night online, I'd head straight to sleep without the mandatory pit stop in the kitchen to clean and make Julia's lunch. Damn internet.
  

What I Learned At the Wiggly Concert

My family's love of the Wiggles has been well documented here. Although they're no longer front-and-center favorites, all three kids still enjoy Wiggling fairly regularly, though they don't always admit to it. A few months ago, just as I was thinking how much my kids would like to see the Wiggles live, I received an email alerting me that they would be coming to LA. It's like the internet read my mind! We (actually, Grandma Goob. Thanks Goobie!) got the tickets and Saturday was Wiggle day. Who knew I would learn so much from one kids' concert? Lucky for you, I'm willing to share the knowledge:

• The Nokia Theatre at LA Live is a great place to see a concert. The whole complex will be awesome when it's finally built out. On the day that we were there, there were 2 Wiggles shows, a King's game and a Dodgers exhibition game at the Coliseum. It's really great to see Downtown LA growing this way. Go developers!

• If the music thing doesn't work out for the Wiggles, then they can always look into being aerobics instructors. Those guys have some serious stamina!
• There is seriously nothing cuter than a theater filled with preschoolers dressed in Pirate hats, Wiggles skivvies, and Dorothy tails....until those preschoolers start singing and dancing.
• When attending a Wiggly concert, it is proper form to bring roses for Dorothy and a bone for Wags.
• Some children, who are way too used to watching the Wiggles on TV, WOULD NOT turn away from the giant screen where the concert was being shown to the stage RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM to see the actual show live.
  
• My two year old must not be that smart.
• That one Wiggly dancer who is always way too excited on the TV show is just as "energetic" live.
  
• It really is possible to pay $6 for an Uncrustable, a juice box and a few apple slices. Ah, capitalism.
• That last remark makes me sound really old.
  
• Just because you are seven and a half years old, it does not mean that you cannot sit on your daddy's lap and sing along the entire show. It also does not mean that you will not be the first to ask. "Can we come back next year?"
• I can point my fingers and do the twist.
  
• If you want a t-shirt for your kid, get it when the lines are short before the show and don't wait. And just because you said you want a shirt, and don't have a ton of money on you, don't assume that someone else will offer to go buy the shirt.

• These guys really must love the kids to do this day in and day out. They were warm and sincere and just as you'd want them to be.
  
• Three adults to three children is a manageable ratio for a Wiggly concert.
• Snacks are essential.
• Just because there is a damn Wiggly concert going on 8 rows in front of you, and your (grand)parents purchased these tickets and dragged you and your siblings to the concert, it does not mean you will not fall asleep eating grapes on your grandma's lap.
• If you are two years old and your mom takes you to see the Wiggles and you finally turn around halfway through and notice the Wiggles and squeal "It's Giggo Mommy! It's Jeff," she will turn to mush, and forgive you for napping later and declare that you must be the cutest and most intelligent toddler in the whole place.
  
• A Wiggly concert is just slightly louder than Ethan.
• I'd do this again for and with my kids in a heartbeat. I know I had at least as much fun as they did.
• It's just not the same without Greg.

DYNO-Vite

When I made Brady's 2nd birthday invitations, I also planned ahead to Ethan's dinosaur party invites as well. You would think that with all that lead time, these invitations would be ready well in advance. You would, of course, be wrong. However, they are done and they are here. I'm totally not happy with them but he LOVES them. So, I'm happy enough. It's not about me, right? I've had a couple of moms tell me how cute they are. It's so great for the ego hanging out with non-crafty types. The paper is from Around The Block and the bone punch is an EK punch I borrowed from my LSS. I'm on the prowl for a cute dinosaur stamp to make the Thank You notes with. Maybe I'll find one before the thank you cards are 6 months late going out.

Funny Valentines

For some reason, I got a wild hair up my butt to make, instead of buy, Valentines this year. I think the reason was that I just couldn't stomach another trip to Hallmark while I try to throw whatever inappropriate card is within reach into my cart (my Hallmark has carts, do they all?) as quickly as possible while Brady screams at me yet again. Although I'm practically immune to the stares of the other shoppers by now, I knew that somehow I'd grab the wrong thing and my in-laws would end up with an "On The Loss Of Your Pet" card in Spanish for Valentine's Day. So I decided that I don't need any more gray hairs this week and went for the home-made variety.

The first part of this endeavor was getting them to clean all their crap off the dining room table. The next day, I pulled out stickers, cards, scrap paper, die cuts, stamps, ink, punches, markers, glue and probably other stuff and let them go to town. There was a lot of attraction in using Mommy's supplies and Ethan, especially, was quite the enthusiastic little stamper. Unfortunately for him, he was not allowed to use every color ink simultaneously. Anyone who knows him will not be surprised that he would want to.

Other than try to salvage what's left of the finish on the dining room table, I stayed out of their way and just let them create, keeping my opinions to myself (yes, Tannaz, it is possible). Therefore, we ended up with a rainbow of colorful cards in addition to plain old boring red and white. I bet you didn't know purple and yellow (together) were Valentine colors.

What I loved most was watching them create together. There was an interesting give and take in their process. They had to make some decisions together, like who the next card was for and which color it would be, and even though they disagreed, they quickly compromised and got on with it. It was like they subconsciously knew not to ruin their fun with pointless bickering. There was also an unspoken division of labor: Julia did all of the writing (though Ethan signed his own name) and most of the punching while Ethan was the main stamper. He had some great creative ideas and I was glad to see Julia follow his lead. Somehow the age difference between them disappeared and they cheerfully cooperated and created together.

They were more enthusiastic about the first card than the fifth, but we all had a great afternoon together. I'd like to think they got something out of the process. I certainly did and hope to make this yet another tradition. Hopefully the recipients of those Valentines will be able to sense some of the joy and cheer that went into creating them. Especially the green one.

One Gift, Many Occasions

Remember way back when I totally blew off blogging in December, then promised I'd do some holiday posts in January? Lame, I know, but here's one of those posts. If it makes you feel any better, I've been feeling guilty about it since, like, November. So now I have less guilt and you have something yummy to read about. Win, win.

Much to my husband's annoyance, I insist on making a home made food gift for a select few friends and neighbors each holiday season. He, being of the "Why Bother?" school of thought thinks this just causes unnecessary stress and effort. I, being of the "If Anything is Worth Doing It's Worth Doing To Excess" school of thought, ignore him. But this year, with sanity, time and money all being at a premium, I had to rethink the process. God forbid I would skip the gifts altogether. This was not an option. However, I needed something that was easy to make and relatively inexpensive, since I had a lot of people I planned to give to.

It's no secret that I have an enigmatic relationship with my crockpot. Although I hear raves about it, I've yet to produce anything in mine that doesn't come out tasting and looking like, well, slop. Not ready to give up yet, I was browsing yet another slow cooker cookbookin hopes of finding something that didn't involve a can of cream-of-sodium soup. Towards the back of the book, I happened upon a recipe for apple butter. Hmmmm...interesting. My husband and I had always loved it when we lived in Washington and hadn't had any for a long time. It sounded good, easy, and inexpensive. After consulting the brain trust (who, by the way, devotes many posts to gifts-in-a-jar) and finding a cute little apple spreader from Crate & Barrel to go with the goods, I decided to give it a try.

The basic recipe is to chop granny smith apples and stick them in a crock pot with sugar. Let the apples sit all day until they release a lot of their juice and collapse slightly, then add some spices and cook overnight. The next day, take off the lid and cook some more to thicken. Puree with an immersion blender (OMG I LOVE MINE) and that's it.

I made my first batch for Thanksgiving, planning to take a jar to my cousin's as a hostess gift. The good thing about this recipe is that it lasts up to two months in the refrigerator, making it a perfect for those who like to do things ahead of time. So I knew I could test run a jar at Thanksgiving and be able to use the leftovers at Hannukah. Of course, the presentation was also important. Julia and I stamped some plain brown gift bags with leaf stamps from Close To My Heart, then used the same stamps on grocery bags to make a topper for the jar. I used the stamps again to make a gift tag. I attached the spreader with some ribbon to match and voila! By this time I was so overwhelmed with the cuteness of the stamped stuff and the whole home made-ness of the whole thing that it wouldn't have mattered if the stuff tasted awful.

Fortunately, it didn't. I never heard from my cousin the unknowing guinea pig, but the rest of us who tasted the apple butter all loved it. I immediately began massive apple butter production and spent a lot of time chopping, stirring, and pureeing. The rest of the time I spent talking about apple butter. Conversation is pretty lively around these parts.

I realized that one batch only gave me a little more than two jars of apple butter. So I stuffed my crock pot with even more apples the next time to make the minimal effort worth it. It totally worked. I also unwittingly messed up the second batch by forgetting to add the spices before I turned the crock pot on and let the stuff cook overnight. So I added them the next morning, along with some water because the stuff looked a little thick and guess what? It was even better!! By not letting the spices cook and get concentrated as long, their flavors remained a little more bright and distinguishable while allowing the fresh flavor of the apples to burst through.

As I moved into full production mode, I loved the smell of it simmering and I loved having a refrigerator shelf filled with jars of the dark, rich, apply goodness waiting to be gifted to friends and family. Starting with Hannukah (it was early this year, remember?) I must have given 10-11 jars out. It made a lovely thank you gift for a friend who helped us play Santa and when we accepted a New Year's Eve invitation at 4 p.m. on New Year's Eve, it was a no-brainer grab and go hostess gift. The only thing that had to be changed was the ribbon and the stamp I used to decorate the jar, bag and tag.

With all this apple butter flowing, you may be wondering just what it's good for. The obvious choice is on toast or bagels with butter or cream cheese (or all by itself), although we think it tastes awesome with peanut butter. Julia now takes peanut butter and apple butter sandwiches to school for lunch. At Hannukah it was a more sophisticated topping for latkes and it was delicious. I also like it on simple grilled or roasted chicken. Lately, I've been putting it on the muffins Ethan and I have been baking together.

Things I love about this recipe:

• Not too sweet but plenty of flavor
• Can definitely stand in for fatty spreads and actually started out as fruit
• Tastes great!
• Easy to make and to make ahead
• Makes a generous amount
• Stores for a while in the fridge or freezer
• A monkey could make it
• Everyone seems to love it

I'm sure I'll be making more for my own family as we're down to our last jar. But the best compliment I got was from a friend whose son has severe food allergies. Not only was he able to enjoy the apple butter on his rice cake with no problems, but her daughter apparently said it was the "best sauce" she's ever had.

If you'd like to make the original recipe, consult the cookbook. Here's my adaptation:

5+ lbs. of Granny Smith apples, washed, cored and cut into large pieces
(I overstuffed my crock pot and couldn't get the lid on, but as the released their juices and collapsed it was no problem)
2 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. allspice
pinch of salt
big splash of vanilla extract (I use the good stuff from Trader Joe's and splash quite enthusiastically)

Layer the apples and sugar in your crock pot. Place lid on (it may not close all the way, this is OK) and let sit all day without turning on the crock pot. By the end of the day you will have a ton of apple juice in your crock pot and the apples will have collapsed to the point that the lid will close. Turn crock pot on LOW and cook overnight. In the morning, toss the apples with the spices and vanilla. At this point I like to add a cup or so of water. Eyeball it and add as much or as little as you like. Continue to cook for several hours until you reach your preferred thickness, removing the lid if it's too thin. Cool in crock and use immersion blender (or regular blender or food processor) to puree. Store in refrigerator for 2 months or freeze for up to 3.

I'd love to hear from you if you try this recipe. Let me know how you like it and how you use your yummy apple butter.

Fun and Games with Ethan

Once again, we happen upon the adventures of young Ethan, who, although thankfully (seriously, I thank the Potty Gods daily) is now toilet trained, still needs an adult to wipe him. The other day he was upstairs in need of a hand so he yelled down at the top of his lungs (of course while his brother was napping) for me to go help.

I headed into the bathroom, noticed a Patrick toy and toothbrush from the sink and placed them on the counter (moms really do pick things up everywhere they go) and got down to business. After discussing the shapes of today's particular creations, I was washing my hands when the following conversation ensued:

E: Mom, you need to wash Patrick.

T: Why?

E: Because he fell in the toilet while I was pooping.

T: So you decided to throw him in the sink on top of your toothbrush?
E: What color is the toothbrush?

T: Blue.

E: That's not my toothbrush. That's Julia's.






And yes, he does accessorize his outfits himself.

What I Learned Over Thanksgiving Weekend

Over the last few days, I re-discovered that Thanksgiving weekend is my favorite time of the year. It starts with the planning and the lists. Actually, it starts with the elder members of my family, otherwise known as The Sisterhood, fighting over who gets to host. Then we decide who brings what, when do you start cooking, etc. The gringo husbands have to put in their requests for real Thanksgiving food while lodging their protests against rice in all forms. There are many logistical details to cover.

This year, my happy day was the Wednesday before the big day. My mom came over for a while to help cook, my cousin from the East coast was in town and hung out for a while, and it was just a great day to be home, cooking and looking forward to the next day.

The whole weekend turned out to be pretty great. We spent the day at my cousin Sissy's, something we hadn't done for years. Thanksgiving itself was lovely, and so was the extra long weekend. As much as I love the relaxing and the shopping and the cooking and the eating and just the festive vibe of being together eating and drinking and enjoying loved ones, I managed to pick up some lessons here and there. In the seasonal spirit of giving, I hereby share them with you:

• It's nice to break tradition and spend the holiday with a different group of family members. The more the merrier, right?
  
• The thought of celebrating Thanksgiving with among others, 7 children age 7 and under, is less desirable than a root canal to many people.
• It's not Thanksgiving without corn with butter, according to 4 year old Ethan. Apparently, it's also not Thanksgiving without 2 kinds of rice, salmon, and guacamole.
  
• Turkey breasts have been engineered to be so big that turkeys can no longer reproduce naturally and need to be, ahem, assisted. So, no turkey sex. Strangely, this doesn't bother me as much as it probably should.
  
• Peeling sweet potatoes is much easier for 7 year old hands than 6 year old hands.
• Apple butter doesn't contain butter. Actually, I already knew this. What I didn't know that it is fairly easy to make and makes a nice gift. More to come on this.
  
• Caterer turkey that is cooked in the same bag it is stored and transported in ends up kind of stewy and not great. Everyone should learn to make turkey like my mom: breast down, with saffron. The end.
• There is nothing better than a 4 day weekend.
• I can survive my daughter being out of school all of Thanksgiving week. Barely.
  
• Black Friday is much, much more enjoyable when you spend those early hours asleep in your bed.
  
• My good friend from 4th grade, whom I hadn't talked to in 25 or so years, is doing well and living in the Bay area. She's lived all over the world, is writing a novel, and has had some really interesting jobs, including a stint as a dominatrix.
  
• My cousin is an, ahem, naturalist. I didn't peg her for this one.
  
• My life seems to be quite boring in comparison.
• You can have pumpkin pie and pumpkin pecan pie and all kinds of other desserts at the Thanksgiving table and still think you'd really like some pumpkin cheesecake.
• Hannukah is way too early this year.
  
• It turns out that I'm more of a "Board Game Night" person than a "let's see how many chemicals we can ingest" partier.
  
• I've never been more thankful for my home, family, good health and all the loved ones who enrich my life every day. Bring on the holiday season!
  

We Could All Take A Lesson

Because Ethan is so outgoing, easygoing, exuberant, and always just so happy, he seems to belong in a completely different family. Ray and I can both relate to Julia and her hesitance in social situations, her moodiness, all that drama. Ethan, though, is a totally different story. For example, if I try to punish him by taking away a favorite toy, he'll inform me that it's OK because he's not all that interested in playing with that toy. I can never win with this kid.

This weekend, he simultaneously blew me away and cracked me up at Julia's soccer game. We ran into some friends whose daughter also plays and whose son is Ethan's age. As guilty as it makes me feel, I just don't like the son all that much. He's too rowdy, is never told no, and just doesn't act like he's that bright or has that much of a personality. Maybe it's not fair to compare him to Mr. Personality, but maybe he shouldn't come over and mow down Brady or spill pizza and watermelon on my brand new rug.

So Ethan and his friend, Jake, come over to say hi to this kid and without saying Hello or anything else he says:

"Hey Ethan, guess what. I can do math and read."

Ethan, who can read the word "cookies" and knows what 5 plus 5 equals, looks at him and says, "Guess what. I have a new friend and his name is Jake." He and Jake walk off leaving the other boy wondering what the hell just happened and leaving me about to pee in my pants.

I love this kid.

Leaving Lost Vegas

You know when you're in Las Vegas or some other adults-only destination, and you see a family loaded down with a bunch of little kids and strollers and diaper bags and all that goes with them? And you think to yourself (or in my case, sneer out loud), "What kind of complete idiot would bring small children to Las Vegas?" Well, as it turns out, I would be just the kind.

And you know how Las Vegas is now supposed to be hip and trendy and cool and high-end and even, dare I say, classy? Well, apparently the Imperial Palace was stuck in 1981 and never received that particular memo.

Combine these two facts and imagine the fun my family and I had in Las Vegas this past weekend. We were there to join my mother-in-law's family as they celebrated her dad's 90th birthday. Most of the gang was there from the East coast, and as we had missed the official celebration in August (being that we have all these kids and live on the West coast and Poppy lives an hour plus away from the nearest po-dunk airport and 3 from JFK or La Guardia), we agreed to drive out and meet everyone there.

We knew that the trip would be challenging and we were alarmed that the family had been led by an imbecilic travel agent - probably the only one in America who's never actually been to Las Vegas - to stay at the Imperial Palace. Still, we were glad that Julia was getting over the sore throat and fever she'd had all week and we were hoping to make the best of the trip. So, armed with snacks, drinks, books, DVDs, crayons and more than a few prayers, we set off on the 6 hour trip. Miraculously, we got on the road early, the kids did great on the drive, and we got to the city in great time.

We got our first taste of things to come when we hit Friday afternoon rush hour traffic just as Ethan announced that he needed a bathroom. We had no choice but to pull over to the side of the off-ramp and let him moon the entire city while cars inched by. Classy.

The kids ooh'ed and ahh'ed as we drove past the giant hotels and beautiful facades. And then we reached our hotel.

The Imperial Palace is neither imperial nor palatial. It is a shithole.

To ramble on and on about just how bad the IP sucks would result in much too long of a post. The decor, the smell, the service...it's just all bad. We shared a swanky 2-bedroom penthouse suite with Ray's mom and his aunt. The mini-fridge smelled so gross that my kids refused to drink the milk I had stored in it, complaining that it tasted like cabbage. They've never even tasted cabbage. The toilet seat was worn away in so many places that I think Frank Sinatra himself probably used it at some point. I shudder to think what a regular room is like.

When Julia was 4 months old, we traveled to Florida to visit Ray's elderly grandfather (the other Poppy). We drove in from Atlanta and had to spend the night in Alachua in the grossest, creepiest motel I've ever been to. There were blood stains on the towels and I refused to step into the nasty shower. It seriously grossed me out to take my perfect sweet baby girl and stay in that filthy room. The Imperial Palace is the Alachua of Las Vegas. Other guests joked that the initials IP really should stand for ImPlode.

Mercifully, we finally got out of there for a while the afternoon after we got in, but not before having two meals at their nasty coffee shop, the Tea House (which came to be known by us as the Pee House). We headed to Circus Circus and the kids had a great time. It was like Chuck E. Cheese on steroids. It actually brought back happy memories of my own trips to Las Vegas as a child, begging to go to Circus Circus and playing the camel race with my cousins. A more recent addition to Circus Circus is the Adventuredome, a smoke-free mini-theme park with rides, junk food, and more games. This was a great way to spend our day.

From there we headed to Paris and tried to survive another meal while Bunch screamed. I have to say, he was fairly cooperative on the trip as a whole. Between his new obsession with Legos ("eggos") and the few words he now uses to communicate, the screaming has decreased. However, going from car seat to stroller to high chair back to the stroller is not his idea of a good time and even he's got his limits. The big kids got new Webkinz from a store there, which helped to allay their disappointment that we couldn't go up the Eiffel Tower due to the high winds. In fact, the fountains and volcano were also turned off because of the weather.


The highlight of the trip for me was jumping out of the car at the Bellagio to show my two older kids the stunning Chihuly installation in the lobby. A while back, they had seen some photos of Dale Chihuly's work on the internet and had showed some interest. I've been a fan of his work since we got exposed to it while living in Seattle. I couldn't resist the opportunity to show them the actual work when it was so readily accessible. I figured they should know that Las Vegas isn't just about worn vinyl and giant belt buckles. Ethan wasn't that impressed but Julia was very interested. We also went to the conservatory which never fails to stun me with its beautiful seasonal decorations. This time it was an autumn theme and was absolutely gorgeous. Even Ethan enjoyed the "waterfall" of apples. The only bad part about our little 15-minute excursion was that it underscored just how crappy our own hotel was when we returned to it.

I could go on and on, but why? Everyone knows that when you travel with a lot of people, decisions made by the group are not always best for certain individuals. This is magnified when one member of your group is a spry 90-year old birthday boy who still needs to get a nap in now and then. Going on this trip was the right thing to do, and it was lovely to see Poppy and his "girlfriend," whom I'd never met. She is a sweetheart and couldn't have been nicer to me and the kids. Everyone else did their best and we even got to leave the kids with Grandma and go play a little blackjack at night. Our itinerary and accommodations did nothing but make me long to go back to "Lost" Vegas, as Ethan calls it, this time in a nicer hotel, with better entertainment, different traveling companions and no kids. Like I said, what kind of idiot would take kids to Las Vegas anyway?

P.S. Thanks to everyone who's been concerned about our safety during the fire season. Although we drove through some fire areas on our way back from Vegas, our town is not affected. Our hearts are with the firefighters and those who are in the fires' path.

Thank you dpdixon for the photo of the Strip and ladnlins for the gorgeous picture of the Bellagio lobby.

4 Good Things

At the risk of sounding like Martha, here are 4 things that have made life a little bit better, easier, and/or happier around these parts lately:

• My new Halloween spatula, purchased today and waiting to go into my clean DONE kitchen tomorrow.

• Ice peas: what Ethan calls frozen peas, right out of the bag. My two older kids love them and I love a no-cook vegetable they'll actually eat. Tonight Ethan had 3 helpings (i.e. shakes of the bag into his plate). This is my kind of veggie. Here is my top secret recipe:

Remove bag of frozen peas from freezer. Dump on plate.

Gross? Sure (although I can usually stomach a few myself). Nutritious, absolutely!

• The gum ball jar. I brazenly stole this idea from Julia's brilliant teacher. She has a picture of a gum ball machine taped to the board and when the kids behave well, she sticks some colorful circle stickers on it. When the gum ball machine is "full," they get a pizza party. Well, we're planning on going to Disneyland in the next month or so. We decided to tie the trip to our own gum ball jar. The idea has worked wonders. I've caught Ethan being nicer to his brother, both kids are being more helpful and Julia, in particular, is being more responsible. Woo hoo! This is a no-brainer of an idea.
  

• The secret dot. After about the 14 millionth time of having Ethan ask if his shoes were on the right feet, I remembered an idea I read in a magazine once. With a permanent marker, I put a dot on the inside of each shoe and told him the dots need to kiss. Easy peasie lemon squeezie! This is one thing out of 11 million I no longer have to do every day and Ethan feels so smart and empowered.
  

Power to the Mommies!

Cheerios, Spongebob, and God

Almost a year ago, a Jewish family from Atlanta moved next door to us. Their kids were the same age and gender as our older two, and they loved hanging out in the cul de sac. The mom and I soon became good friends and chatted about everything from husbands to politics to religion and then some. I loved having a new friend right next door and I hoped I helped her feel a little less lonely after making a cross country move she didn't want to make. Sadly, we're no longer neighbors but we do remain friends.

One of the things we have in common is our religion. And although she's much more observant than I am (and feels way too guilty about way too much stuff), it's always nice not to have to explain things like holidays and traditions like to other folks. She just knows. She joined a temple within a week of moving here (9 years after moving, we have yet to do the same) and always invited me to accompany her to services and other events. We'd been to a couple of holiday things but never to services. Maybe it was residual Yom Kippur guilt, or the fact that Ray was going to be home late from work (again), but I decided to drag my kids to the Family Service with her and her kids a couple of Friday nights ago. I will not repeat this mistake again for a long, long time.

We get there and meet up with my friend and our other neighbor and her daughter and after chasing Brady around the grounds a bit, we file into the sanctuary where the boys grab their kippot and the older kids promptly march to the front row. It was interesting watching Ethan, who hasn't been inside a temple for a couple of years (for reasons which became very apparent in a few short moments). He had no idea what was going on but followed his friend, with Julia keeping an eye on him. We moms and Brady finally got seated a couple of rows behind the big kids and then the screaming started. That's right. Brady's current method of communication is to scream as loudly and ear-piercingly as possible. When he's feeling particularly verbal, he'll scream "Neh" to express his displeasure at the current situation. Otherwise, he'll just scream.

I scramble through my bag, grab a half-empty container of Cheerios, and get Bunch settled on my lap. For a few moments of bliss, he munched happily while I linked arms with my friends and sang some of the Friday night prayers. Pretty much at the same time as the Cheerios ran out, a tearful Ethan came back to my seat to inform me that "this place is dumb" and he was ready to go home. Crap.

From my diaper bag I pull out some giant Lego blocks for Bunch, a sheet of epoxy Spongebob stickers for Ethan and peace was temporarily restored again. As Ethan covered my arm with 20 or so different Spongebob faces then moved them one by one to my leg (who needs to go get waxed?), and Brady played with his Legos I once again got to enjoy the feeling of being in a temple on a Friday night for the first time in way too many years. The kids were actually quiet for 13 seconds until Ethan started going through my bag and found his toy hammer. Crap. First, he started banging on the epoxy Spongebob heads. Then he moved on to the chairs themselves. Then he continued with the potted plant next to our row of seats. By this time his friends in the front row had to come check out what all the noise and fun was about. And that's when Brady decided he wanted to play with the big kids too. Mind you, the service is going on this entire time.

The other kids were quickly shooed back to their seats by their mothers while Ethan, under threats on his very life, came back to his own seat where he sat on the floor and hammered the chair cushion. Brady, however, was completely done at this point and voiced his displeasure as loudly as possible, compelling the rabbi to remark on the strength of his lungs. And then my cell phone rang.

Mercifully, the service eventually ended and we headed over to the Sukkah to say the blessings over the wine and bread. My kids actually enjoyed that part, because it involved food. Just before we left to get our traditional Shabbat dinner of Wendy's drive-through, my friends actually had the audacity to ask when I was coming back.

It's interesting, attending services at 2 different temples within a week. You get a great urge to compare and contrast. Let's just say that this small, suburban congregation, with its almost makeshift bubble-like sanctuary and its rabbi and cantor combo who seem like they're auditioning for the next season of Last Comic Standing, falls short in a lot of ways to Valley Beth Shalom with its amazing rabbis, 1000+ member families and lovely facilities. But there was love, and caring, and friendship, and community here. There were smiles for my screaming baby and songs that captivated my daughter. And for me, there was the feeling that I was doing the right thing as a mom, even though it was hard, and stressful, and embarrassing. This feeling is hard to come by. I still don't plan on returning soon but I'm definitely glad I went.

Well, Hello

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. I don't know what I've done the last couple of weeks but let me assure you, it's been vitally important. Right. For the interest of my blog readers, one of whom I happened to meet the other day (Everyone say "Hi Dave!"), I will try to jump-start my feeble, medicated mind and update you on my oh-so-exciting life:

• Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur happened. Rosh Hashanah was fun, except for the stress and the staying up late and the hyper kids and the cranky relatives and the heat. But there were beans (black-eyed peas if you're being persnickety) and tongue (how has Tannaz not blogged about this?) and the little cousins were so cute together. Yom Kippur was also nice. Julia attended her first Kol Nidre, in the rain no less. Both of these facts completely traumatized her but she conceded later that it wasn't as bad as she expected. Last year, when I was lucid, I wrote a Yom Kippur post that sums it up well. Go back and read if you care. I've learned that when you attend services once or twice a year, that you tend to get a little more out of them. It's either that or the rabbis at Valley Beth Shalom are truly phenomenal. Or, as my husband says, they have the direct line to God. Any of those are possible.
• Things are going well at school. Ethan is so "inciting" when he gets to go and Julia loves it. I could not be happier. Well, I could if preschool weren't so expensive, but then it wouldn't be so good. At least, that's what I tell myself.
• My mind seems to be percolating along in its new chemically enhanced state. Some minor adjustments may be necessary, but there has been a huge improvement. I might even graduate from therapy soon, which only means that either my therapist is not very perceptive or that I put on a pretty good well-adjusted act.
• Progress is afoot on the home front. We have floors!!! And new counters!!!! And the island is no longer in the back yard, though the toilet is. Baby steps, people. Today I went to the bowels of the San Fernando Valley yet again, this time to shop for tile. Tomorrow I get to do the same thing locally. I can't wait to be done! Plus, how much do I love saying "afoot?"
  
• We are in the middle of annoying Southern California fall weather, which I hate. We have cold mornings and hot afternoons, which means that at some point during each day, my kids will look like the person who dressed them is a complete moron. While this may be true, I don't appreciate the daily opportunity to advertise it. Pretty soon I'm going to have to knuckle down and drag Ethan to the mall to buy some sneakers. I will pay $20 to whomever would like to accomplish this for me. I'm tempted to start shopping online. Hmmm....
  
• My sweet friend Lissa is closing down The Untamed Scrapper. My heart breaks over this because I know how much of her time, energy, money and soul she has put into it, but I also know that it's the best thing for her family and that is what's important. I know she'll be up to something else in no time and I can't wait to see what it is.
  
• My baby sister turned 30 and we had a fun celebration with all her friends. This is turning into an annual event! Her friends are lovely and now I can make fun of her for being old like me. Totally a win-win.